Intake appointment for nutrition group

Had my initial appointment with the nutritionist, so that she could evaluate my life and develop a plan for me.

If I was Catholic, I would say that it's like going to confession. I had to be honest and admit my various health and food sins - the junk food at work, the lack of exercise, the fact that I often skip food and ride the adrenaline high until finally crashing when I do eat, the fact that I stay up WAY too late and then can't fall asleep and feel sluggish the next day.....

Clearly, what I am doing is not healthy. Cortisol and adrenaline and wild blood sugar swings are creating havoc on my body, and putting me at risk for all sorts of really nasty stuff. I also started to realize that I never really developed great habits, although I had some better periods (like when I was more active in high school). In the past, I looked skinny - but that was because I lost weight due to stress while eating fast food and chocolate.

It became even more painfully obviously to me that food and weight are just part of a bigger picture. One theme is that everything on the surface with me looks fine - but I cover up what's below. I don't look fat, but clinically I am. I talk about healthy eating and have a virtuous grocery cart - but I cheat at work when no one is looking. So, I need to come clean.

Tied in with that is being honest about my needs and actually scheduling them in, instead of sneaking around. My husband is actually good at this, which sometimes makes me jealous. My natural tendancy is to take on everything and forget about myself - making the kids' lunches but not my own, etc.

I need to do a master schedule, because that is how I work best. Without something in writing, I'm lost. I know that about myself. So, cravings don't really start at 2 p.m. at work. They start when I don't plan on Sat. night to make time on Sunday for shopping, scheduling and menu planning and prep.

I had a realization that the schedule doesn't have to seem too onerous. I can look at it the same way that I see a budget as permission to spend money. In other words - I can view exercise time as MY sacred time, and not feel that there is really something else that I need to be doing. I can view an earlier bedtime as permission to rest and not worry about things left undone. I can view work blocks as time to focus on work, without worrying about exercise or errands or calls. I can delegate the stuff that I don't like doing, so that I concentrate of the stuff that I do. This way - I'll sleep properly, do work when I should, shop and plan meals, have them ready to eat when I need them, exercise when I should and not worry about it the rest of the time, etc.

So, that's my homework for this weekend: Make a master schedule.